more, what NOT to do.

Ok. I’m back on the website. There are still over a hundred ppl to go through. I was just talking to my cousin, & I said

me: “ok, I gotta go to my 2nd job now.”.
him: “huh? Second job? What?”
me: “finding a husband”

I’ve declined about a dozen guys now, for the normal reasons. Now I’ve come to another common turn-off that I haven’t mentioned yet in my previous posts yet.

Don’t put up 4 pictures of yourself, and you’re wearing those super reflective sunglasses in ALL of them! If you have a picture, you’re letting me see what you look like. I CAN’T SEE YOUR FACE. Are you also not going to look me in the eye if we are face-to-face?

You have 1 picture of yourself, and that picture has you in a nice white button-up shirt. Ok, that’s nice. But I don’t want to see your shirt unbuttoned with your shaved/waxed chest showing. Gross. I want a man. Men have hair on their chests.

Don’t have just one picture of yourself, and there’s a child in the picture; and you don’t explain who the child is.

shaadi meme photo

you want a response?

OMG.  These guys.  Seriously?!?!

Ok.  I’m taking this online dating site seriously this time.  I joined it about 6 months ago, logged in twice, got frustrated at the idiots, and deleted my profile.  This time, I’m taking it seriously, and actually looking at the profiles of the “males” who expressed interest in me.  I’m saying “males” in quotes, because I don’t see any real men yet.

Here’s what you should and shouldn’t do to get a response.

– Say something about yourself. See the screenshot from last post. That particular person sent me an interest, and I thought twice about it, and then sent him an email:

Hi Raj.
On your profile, you wrote absolutely nothing about yourself. But I thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt. So I sent you an email asking you to tell me something about yourself. Anything.

What do you like to do? Where did you grow up? How long have you lived where you are? What kind of movies/TV/music/food do you like?

I thought you’d at least respond with any one small description of yourself. I think communication is important in a relationship.

But you still have not said anything about yourself, so I have no idea who you are, or your personality.

Tell me something about yourself.

So he told me that his father is retired and that he’s an only child. NEXT.

– Don’t have 8 (EIGHT!) pictures of yourself, and you are NOT smiling IN A SINGLE ONE! You look like a sourpuss in each of your 8 pictures. I want to be happy in life. I want someone who is already happy with himself, to share in my happiness.

– Don’t use bad punctuation/grammar in your profile. This is your ONLY impression, in most cases. It’s like a resume, right? You double-check your resume/CV to make sure you don’t have typos, bad punctuation, or bad grammar. This is the same thing. Out of the 200 interests I have in my inbox, I have yet to find one to respond to! I’ve made it half-way so far.

shaadi bad punct

– But put up at least ONE picture. This one has NO picture and he’s divorced, so 2 strikes already. Now, the divorced thing is nbd, but it’s only bad here because of the no picture, then the ‘about me’. That’s his place to ‘advertise’ himself, to really sell himself. And he starts off with “Iam a focussed, easy going man…”

shaadi sunny g

Here’s another one. Divorced, no picture, all caps, bad writing. And add a LIAR to the list. You see, on the first page, it says his location is Fremont, CA. Since I have on my criteria, only those in the US, he would pass through. Then, he mentions that he’s in India.

shaadi vinod

This one also is a divorcee, no picture, then this. I don’t even know what a teetotaller is?!?

shaadi teetoller

Ugh. I think that’s enough for tonight. I can’t read through anymore.

re-entering the dating world

I’m re-entering the dating world.  All Indians are familiar with Shaadi.com, but for non-desis that read my blog, it’s a matrimonial site for (mostly) Indians.  It’s not a dating site, it’s a matrimonial site.

In clarifying this, I present to you this profile I found (he was in my 2-way matches).

SH46563219 Hindu, Gujarati, Gujarati, Groom from Other, USA - Mozilla Firefox 162014 124827 PM.bmp

See that part I circled in red?  Um, yeah dude.  That’s the whole reason for everyone on this site.  Thanks for using your “about me” to really sell yourself, and show some of your personality. Also, can’t even demonstrate proper use of “cut & paste”.  NEXT.

Btw- if anyone has any questions on the terms, I’m happy to clarify.
A ’2-way match’ is one where I meet their criteria for their searches, and they meet mine.
I’ve also added a new category, “shaadi in the city”, for all posts related to this new part of my life.  Stay tuned!

men are wrong

I saw this question posed today:

man wrong

And I have the answer!

Yes.  The man is still wrong.  Because a woman will somehow, someway find out what he said.Remember men, the woman will ALWAYS find out!

Baw hahahahaha!

 

I have children for Christmas

Guess what?
I “adopted” a 3 month old for Christmas!

OGC presents1
I don’t see or meet her, but I get to buy her (& 2 teenagers) Christmas presents! Her ppl (foster parents or DHS) requested a Baby Einstein cd, so I’m totally going to get that for her!! I’m so excited!

It’s a program called “Operation Good Cheer”, and you pick a child’s profile (I got 3), and they each have a wish list of 6 items. You get 3 items minimum, but can get more, and gift wrap them, and put their id # sticker on the wrapped package, and it gets delivered to them!!!

OGC presents2
My 3 month old was exposed to drugs/alcohol while in the womb, and in a home with parent(s) abusing drugs (so she was likely neglected). She’s 3 months and only weighs 8 lbs!!! She breaks my heart! :(

The 2 teen girls also came from homes with substance abuse, and both were sexually abused, one also physically abused. They’re both in a residential treatment facility. The baby is in a foster home.
OGC presents3
My goal this year is to GIVE GIVE GIVE as much as I can. If I’m focusing on putting good out into the world, then there will be some good in the world, and maybe some of it will latch on somewhere!

If you’re interested in participating in Operation Good Cheer (it’s a program put on by Child and Family Services of Michigan, Inc.), check out their website.

Photos from the Operation Good Cheer Facebook page.

How much do we love Shel Silverstein?

SS the voice

SS masks

SS hinges

Image

how you live your life

Every weekend, my dad calls me in the 8 o’clock hour.  Saturday and/or Sunday; usually just one of the two days.  8 A.M.  However, I woke this morning on my own & texted them at about 8:15.  My first thought was to go back to sleep, of course.  But I knew I couldn’t do it.  They texted back, and so I called them instead of texting more.

We talked about a couple things – my sister’s pending baby shower, my other sister’s birthday & how they were going to make it special.  Then I wanted to talk to them about my cousin.

We just got the news yesterday that my cousin passed away.  He was diagnosed with leukemia a month ago, & just finished a round of chemo last week.  Apparently, No One Knew.  I have 2 other cousins (they are his cousins as well), who live in the same area as him (ATL, Georgia).  He didn’t tell anyone else in our family.  I’m not sure who in his family knew.

He passed, I think, about 3am Friday morning.  The only person in our extended family that knew was my uncle, who is in Africa right now.  He found someplace that has wifi, and thankfully my cousin in NJ happened to be online at the time.  He told her via IM.  She called my cousin in ATL, who called me.  Anyway, none of that matters.

I was talking to my dad this morning, and he told me that.  None of it matters.

It doesn’t matter how he died.
It doesn’t matter when he died.
It doesn’t even matter who knows, or when.

All that matters is how he LIVED.

live_life_the_way_rememberdHe was so jovial. So respectful. I don’t know if this is going to make sense. But he’s one of those people that really didn’t have to tell his kids how to be. He just WAS. And that’s how they knew how to be. Like, he always showed so much respect for anyone older than him. Heck, he showed so much respect for anyone, period. He always came at each day full force. Never a complaint about anything. Always so happy to see anyone & everyone. I don’ t even know how to describe it.

Just so grateful for life, love, and family.

And that’s really all I think of when I think of him. Just his spirit.

So, I get what my dad said to me this morning. No one is going to care about your death when you’re gone. They’re only going to care about how you lived.

I’m so grateful to have known him. So happy that someone like him lived on this earth with the rest of us, and that his legacy will live on.

Aside

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