Ok, I need input on something that happened yesterday.
I went to a religious service yesterday. Before the service started, a member of the clergy had the mic & was promoting a special marriage-strengthening event they were hosting. He was just going over the basics, registration info and deadline was approaching. Then, he closed with a joke:
Just to be clear, this is for your WIFE. I’m looking at some of you out there….
to which the response from the congregation was laughter.
It was a joke, after all. This offended me. My question is: Should it have?
My point was that his joke implies that some of these men have a wife AND a girlfriend. And this was a man of God, speaking in the house of God. And by his acknowledging that men there have a wife and a gf, it *validates* this behavior. A man of God is validating the behavior of the destruction of a *union of God*. This is how I saw it. And I saw it as so incredibly disrespectful to dismiss this UNGODLY behavior as a joke (number 1).
Then, number 2, I was offended that the congregation laughed at this. And it hit me that this is because this type of joke is normalized SO MUCH that no one blinks at them. They are accepted & acceptable. I feel that I was completely in the right to be offended, and others should also be offended, but since it’s normalized, they won’t be. Until their eyes are opened.
Now, here’s what I was told: I was told that this is just part of the culture, and is a joke. And maybe I don’t get it because I’m not of the culture. That the clergy member meant it as “don’t do this”, but said it in a joke way for everyone. And that everyone is fine with it, and I shouldn’t be offended.
So, my question is, should I have been offended?
Now, I have to say, what was said to me: that I don’t understand the culture, that everyone from the culture is ok with it and gets it. They get that it’s not offensive. These seem like all the same arguments that proponents of the Confederate Flag use.
You know how people get all worked up about “press 1 for English”? I see it all the time, posts on facebook complaining about this. Well, most of these posts express anger at those who’d rather hear a different language in their IVR interaction.
A couple of things about that. These are people who likely speak more than one language, and most of the people angry about it only speak English. Is it like some type of envy? That they’re jealous that they don’t have other options because they never learned another language? But instead it’s coming out like displaced anger?
The other thought I had is that they shouldn’t get mad at these people. They should be mad at the companies. It’s the companies that put the recording on. If they don’t think companies should be putting “press one for English”, they need to express that to the company doing it.
Actually, their thought is probably that “American companies shouldn’t be doing this”, or that “This is America, we speak English here”.
But guess what? There is a trend of profiting American companies that are moving their base overseas to avoid American taxes. Why aren’t more people mad at them?
Roy Moore is the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. He’s also an idiot (in my opinion). Why you ask? Because yesterday he said that even though the Federal Court found same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional, the State is not bound by that.
Apparently, he never learned about the separation of church and state. That’s like Politics 101.
Anyway, so now he’s all for this same-sex marriage ban. Which, you all know, infuriates me.
Here’s the thing:
Who cares if someone’s marriage is against your religion. Marriage is a legal union. There’s separation of church and state. Religion should not dictate laws.
What bothers me is when states pass these laws that they KNOW are unconstitutional. Then, they waste the taxpayers money in courts as lawsuits are filed against the state. Of course, the state will side with itself, so then it gets appealed to the state appeals, who will also side with the state. Then it goes to federal appeals courts, where of course the state will lose. Because it’s UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Which they knew going in.
But who pays for all this? The taxpayers.
This self-righteous, pompous Moore has been around the block. He should know all this. I’m not even a politician nor a judge and I can tell you how this is going to play out.
With him playing a game with his constituents money.
For my other posts relating to same-sex marriage, go here.
So, he’s not really my friend in real life, in that he doesn’t know he’s my friend. But I’m his friend.
Have you ever liked someone so much that you felt you know them, and feel their pain? I have so much love & respect for W. Kamau Bell, and feel the need to share what happened to him on his birthday.
I’m such a big fan of his, that when he said he was canceling his tour due to the impending birth of his 2nd daughter, I had nothing but mad respect for him. I mean, how could you not admire a father putting his family first?
There is a new slew of comic book superheros that are women, and of course you know that I love that! One such (newish) superhero is a Muslim teen, born in Jersey City. She is Kamala Khan by day, and morphs into Ms. Marvel when the going gets tough!
Well, in San Francisco, a hate group has bought advertising on public transportation. Anti-Islamic advertising, that likens Islam to the Nazis. I don’t want to show their ads, but I think I must to truly show how despicable they are. But FIRST, let me show you what someone has plastered OVER their ads. Which I THINK ARE AWESOME.
Now, here’s the thing. Someone at the city of San Francisco (or in the company of the transportation system, I don’t know if it’s a private company or city-owned), sold the advertising space to a known hate group. The Freedom Defense Initiative is considered a hate group, same as the KKK.
I get that the First Amendment is a BFD here in the US. But I never quite got how it supersedes hate groups. Hate groups are ok here in the US; their rights are protected. The Westboro Baptist Church is protected to the extent of the hate they spew at funerals (even of veterans that died so they could have that freedom).
Remember John Galliano? The famous designer? He got in trouble for hate speech in France. Other countries take Hate Speech more seriously. But only certain targets of hate there (from what I can see). I say that because Charlie Hebdo can publish all sorts of filth about religions, and it’s free speech. But France arrested 54 people for expressing their freedom of speech. I guess hate speech is not tolerated in their country, but it depends on what type of hate speech you have, and who it is you’re hating on.
I really don’t want to promote the ad, but I do want you to see how outrageous it is. It’s ridiculous, stupid, outrageous. Comparing to the Nazis? Really? Anyway, since I don’t necessarily want to promote it on my front page, I’m putting it after the jump. The only thing after this is the unadulterated ad.
There’s a point to be made about looking at ourselves. What we buy into, as consumers. Whether consumers in the economic sense or consuming of information. The media will deliver what we want. It’s simple supply and demand. That’s why there’s a $5 BILLION zombie industry in the US. An actual industry just for zombies. We buy into fear; that’s why so many news networks have all this fear-mongering. It sickens me.
Charlie Hebdo: Whose Fault Is it? Russell Brand The Trews (E231):
Wait. You’re telling me that an NFL player is benched for a YEAR for having some pot. But the 6’4″, 281 lb NFL player who was slamming his girlfriend against the wall, beating her, choking her, and dragging her across the floor has gotten NO type of condemnation from the NFL?
But there’s no war on women in this country. No disrespect. No rape culture. Everything’s fine. #EyesWideShut
To the mom who is overly obsessed with the dress of teenage girls. Maybe change your priorities so that your righteous, perfect little boys don’t see girls as you do.
Also, in this post, why am I seeing a random picture of your chaste boys shirtless & flexing? Is this post about muscle tone, or your recent vacation day to the beach? No, it’s a judgmental post on what teenage girls wear in pictures posted on the internet. So… um… why did you chose THIS post to put up such pictures of your boys?
Being a woman in this world is tough. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is a global trend to disrespect, degrade, declassify, and rape women. There’s a rape culture in the US, where comedians do stand-up routines where they make jokes about rape. Women are *literally* paid less than their male counterparts for the same work put forth.
Raising a young lady in this world, a world that objectifies women, is tough. [I am including you in this statement, because it is clear that you are objectifying these young girls]
I have a lot of little girls in my life. From newborn girls that my friends have, to teenage nieces. Guess what? I make a concerted effort to NOT tell them them how cute they are. They are FREAKIN ADORABLE. And yet, it takes so much willpower for me to not say that everytime I see them. Instead, I tell them how SMART they are. How FUNNY. How CHARMING. And CREATIVE. That they are STUBBORN & SASSY, but I wouldn’t trade that for the world, because so am I, and we are all FORCES. Forces for change. Forces to be reckoned with. Forces that will bestow compassion and love unto the world.
When raising a young girl, you tell her to hold her head up high and stand up straight, with your shoulders back. Well, I guess you see this pose as “a seductress with an arched back”. Why don’t you see her as I do? And because of the way you see her, you push that viewpoint onto those impressionable young boys that you’re raising. By your sexualizing these young gals, you’re making them sexualize the girls as well. Even if they weren’t in the first place. Why are you putting this spin on the girls?
People dress differently in different parts of our own country, let alone the world. When you looked at pictures in old National Geographic magazines, of tribal/aborigine people, did you sexualize them? I know I didn’t. Why is this objectification of women/girls the first thing that comes into your head when you look at pictures? Also, what makes you not think that these pictures of your boys & husband (??) in this post would NOT be seen in the same light? What an odd combination – this judgmental post on pictures with the particular pictures you chose.
Maybe teach your boys to not judge people by how they dress. Maybe they dress horrid. Maybe they are completely covered up – does that make them prudes? If they show skin, does that make them loose?
It seems to me that you are looking through your son’s fb news feed, actively searching for pictures that you think might be provacative, then bringing more attention to them by hiding those friends of theirs. What do you think this accomplishes? You realize that they can still go to that friend’s page, & they will likely inspect that picture, scrutinizing it to comprehend why it is so offensive to you? Do you want them to not be friends at all with this girl? So then, you’re teaching young men of tomorrow to shun women who may dress immorally (as defined by you). To judge, jury, & sentence women based on dress? But you don’t want us judging your boys, right?
Girls are raised from such a young age with these societal ideals of beauty that they must live up to. In every country. The view of beauty changes depending on culture, but all young girls face it. OUR GIRLS JUDGE THEMSELVES ENOUGH. THEY DON’T NEED YOU. Or your teaching your boys how to judge them.
Why are you not focused on raising your boys to respect women. Not to look at them as physical beings, but as complex personalities.
It’s not the responsibility of all the teenage girls to look and dress how you deem appropriate. However, it IS your responsibility as the mother of boys to make sure they grow up to treat others with respect. Not to differentiate between how they view other boys or girls.
What if your son is gay? Would it be inappropriate for them to be friends then with a young man who, say… posts a picture of himself and his brothers & father, shirtless & flexing on a beach? Wouldn’t your gay son find that a sexually-charged photo; one that would result in the blocking of that friend?
If you had faith in that you raised your sons to respect others for who they are on the inside, by the ‘content of their character’ instead of the physical package or dressing, you should trust them enough to view others in the proper light.
I’m not saying you’re a creep, I’m just saying your creepy.
The Hartford Courant disclosed a new piece of info this wk that we didn’t know before… That Newtown shooting… 152 shots were fired in less than 5 mins. B/c in that Bushmaster AR-15 assault rifle, were multiple, extended 30-round magazines. His mother would not have been able to purchase this if, in 2004, Congress had not let the Assault Weapons Ban expire.
He wouldn’t have been able to buy a magazine with more than 10 rounds in it if the 2004 law had been renewed. So, he would have had to re-load 14 times. Lag-time where he could have been stopped. The Assault Weapons Ban also banned 30-round magazines.
He’d need to re-load over a dozen times to do what he did in 3-4 reloads, more chance for error (drop a mag, or have something jam, or stumble). If the law had been renewed, he’d still only have had access to a 10-round magazine. Not the 30-round mags that his mama was able to purchase since the law didn’t renew.
When you get a student loan, you sign a PROMISSORY NOTE to get that loan. PROMISSORY. You LITERALLY PROMISE to pay that money back.
Teaching impressionable, quick to jump young adults that you can just take money for free is irresponsible. If anything, we need to tackle the issue of rising tuition costs that are out of control. NOT teach our youth that you can sign a promissory note for tens of thousands of dollars & just ask them to be “forgiven”. It’s not like you ate your co-workers piece of cake. It’s TENS of THOUSANDS of dollas! And you signed a paper after “loan counseling” PROMISING to pay it back! Are we teaching STUDENTS, those who are signing up asking to learn, that reneging on your word is the way to start your independent life?!?!?!
For the record, b/c for some reason, my personal experience will be questioned & thought of as relevant — I did take out loans. I was not given a free education. I am the daughter of immigrants. I did work 80-90 hrs a week during my summers from college, & I did take 10 yrs to pay off my loans. But I did pay them off, & I’m glad I did. My student loans taught me to budget, be responsible, & helped me raise my credit score. And if I do say so myself, my credit score is pretty spectacular!