Joke or offensive? Women problems.

Ok, I need input on something that happened yesterday.

I went to a religious service yesterday. Before the service started, a member of the clergy had the mic & was promoting a special marriage-strengthening event they were hosting. He was just going over the basics, registration info and deadline was approaching. Then, he closed with a joke:

Just to be clear, this is for your WIFE. I’m looking at some of you out there…. 

to which the response from the congregation was laughter.

It was a joke, after all. This offended me. My question is: Should it have?

sexist is wrongMy point was that his joke implies that some of these men have a wife AND a girlfriend. And this was a man of God, speaking in the house of God. And by his acknowledging that men there have a wife and a gf, it *validates* this behavior. A man of God is validating the behavior of the destruction of a *union of God*. This is how I saw it. And I saw it as so incredibly disrespectful to dismiss this UNGODLY behavior as a joke (number 1).

Then, number 2, I was offended that the congregation laughed at this. And it hit me that this is because this type of joke is normalized SO MUCH that no one blinks at them. They are accepted & acceptable. I feel that I was completely in the right to be offended, and others should also be offended, but since it’s normalized, they won’t be. Until their eyes are opened.

Now, here’s what I was told: I was told that this is just part of the culture, and is a joke. And maybe I don’t get it because I’m not of the culture. That the clergy member meant it as “don’t do this”, but said it in a joke way for everyone. And that everyone is fine with it, and I shouldn’t be offended.

So, my question is, should I have been offended?

Now, I have to say, what was said to me: that I don’t understand the culture, that everyone from the culture is ok with it and gets it. They get that it’s not offensive. These seem like all the same arguments that proponents of the Confederate Flag use.

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