I couldn’t think of a more apt title for this post.  My first shaadi date.  But more significant, my first date in over 10 years!  I met a guy on Shaadi, and have been chatting with him on IM for the last few weeks.  He lives in the area, so wanted to meet in person, which makes perfect sense.  Only thing was I was so sick.  So, I delayed the process of meeting in person.  I didn’t think that I was at my best looking while sniffling & coughing!  😉

It’s partly my own fault for getting sick.  I hadn’t been sick in years, and have been boasting about this since Fall.  Famous last words.  Of course I was going to get sick.

Anyway, we’d been chatting online for a couple weeks.  I already felt hesitant about him due to our chats.  He kept bringing up kissing. Everytime we chatted, something about kissing.

First, he asked if I like kissing?  Weird.  Then, if I thought I was a good kisser.  What kind of person is going to be like “oh no, I’m a horrible kisser”?!  Then asked if I would kiss him on our first date.  I said that I wasn’t really into PDA.  So, he said we could go to his car “high school style”.  I told him that I didn’t know what kind of girl he thought I was in high school, but I did NOT go around kissing boys in cars!

I should have known from all that chatting, that he was not the one for me.  But I thought, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.

So, we were planning to meet that Monday, after work, at a restaurant half-way between the two of us.  I sent him an IM at about 3:30, saying that my work colleague just told me her mom was on her deathbed, and she was leaving in 2 days to fly to India.  I told him I’d be a little late, and he came off as exasperated by this news.  WHAT?!?  Did you not just read that her mom is on her DEATHBED?!?!  What the heck?  So, I told him to calm down, I’m only talking like 10 mins late.  Which is not a big deal.  So, I’d meet him at 4:55pm.  Remember this, this is important later.

So, I send him a msg at 4:20, saying I’m on my way.  Now, if I say I’m on my way, about 30 mins before I’m to meet you, and I’m 30 mins away, then guess what…  that means that between now & the time that you actually SEE ME, I’m DRIVING.  So, how come as I’m driving on the crazy Michigan highway, that I hear my phone going “ping” “ping” “Ping”!  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned here before, but MI drivers are crazy.  They speed and leave no stopping distance.  So, I get off the highway, and at a light, I check my phone.  He’s asking where I am.  Dude, I’m somewhere, on the road, driving halfway between work & the restaurant.  Use your brain.  So, I put, “ETA 4:51” and “driving” so he stops sending me msgs.  Then, I get a ping “OK”.  Then, right at 4:51, as I’m pulling into the parking lot, I get another.  Ping.  “Zzzzz”.  Not kidding.  I was driving, so didn’t look at it then.  But I glance at my phone as I’m getting out of my car, and see this latest ping, get irritated, then look up, searching for the door to the restaurant, when I see a guy get out of his car, looking at me.  Are you kidding me?  You’ve been here, falling asleep waiting, but didn’t think to go inside and get us a table?

Ok.  Breathe.  He can’t be this bad.  Maybe it’s just nerves of first date that’s making him act so obnoxious.

So, we go in, sit down.  Our server is a bit slow & he makes fun of him as he’s walking away.  Not cool, dude.  I say that he’s obviously got some type of slowness, and it’s admirable that he’s working and doing a decent job, just a bit slow.  This doesn’t stop his comments about the server.

I ask him about his family, and get him to tell me a story about him with his nieces/nephews.  He tells me of when he went home to visit them, and took them out to the Toys R Us, and after some time, he turned to them to see a cart FULL of toys.  I said to him “Please tell me you didn’t just buy them everything.  Please tell me you had them select some special item each.”  Nope.  He said that cart full of toys cost him over $500.  I told him he was a sucker, and he’s doing the kids and the kids’ parents a disservice by just buying all that stuff.

After about a half-hour, he asked what I was up to that night, because he had to leave soon.  He had a baseball game that night (about 45 mins away), and would I like to come watch him play???  What?  I said well then why did you agree to meet tonight if you had a baseball game?  He said he forgot about the game.  But I told him that he obviously remembered sometime today.  Why not send me a msg saying, hey let’s meet tomorrow night instead?  No real response to that.  Whatever.

We hang out a little longer, and eventually head out.  I ask what kind of car he has, and he says he has a Honda Accord now.  But the way he says it, it’s obvious he’s upset about having an Accord.  I said, “Why do you say it like that? I love Accords. They’re awesome!”  He said he used to have a Range Rover (or Land Rover, or something like that), and that he totaled it.  I asked what happened, and he said he didn’t want to tell me because I’ll judge him for it.  Well, now I’m totally judging him AND imagining what wrecked it (drunk driving is my guess, from his tales of being out at bars with his buddies).

We walk out, and to his car.  HIS CAR.  That is, he did not walk me to MY car, which he saw me getting out of earlier.  He stops short in front of his car.  Really?  You’re not going to walk me to my car?  Even my friends walk me out to my car.  Ok.  So we stop at his car.  And he goes in for a kiss.  To which I turn my cheek.  He wants to kiss on the lips.  I said no, but he could kiss me on the cheek.  He says “oh my god”.  My response is “OH MY GOD IS RIGHT!”  Because he’s so obnoxious.

So, at least I got date #1 out of the way.  What’s that saying, “you always throw out the first pancake”.

UPDATE: I just came up with a great title for this post. It should have been called “the first pancake”.