I’m a good person. I don’t turn right on red (like some miscreants). I don’t speed (anymore- mainly b/c of gas consumption*). I haven’t killed or maimed anyone.

I wanna be economically stimulated. I neeeed to be economically stimulated.

And I swear in return, I’ll stimulate the economy. Seriously. I’m good for it. I mean, I’ve already been stimulating the economy w/out being economically stimulated, so think how much more I can once I am!

*you end up reducing gas consumption by like 33% if you drive at a decent, steady pace. That averages most ppl a savings of like $500 a year! For realsies!