the sunshine state?

More like the clouded-over state.

Don’t mean to be a negative & stuff, but I’ve mentioned before how Florida gets more days of thunderstorms every year than not.

And we know the ppl there aren’t exactly the brightest in the country. They’re the only state w/ that whole hanging chad problem. Plus, they decided as state that a guy called Jeb would be their best bet as Gov. Yes, folks, they elected this guy fair & square.

And y’all prob don’t know too much about their education system, but lemme tell you, it SU-CKS. First, school starts the 1st week of August. This messes up everyone’s vaca plans, b/c that’s when most of the fam across the nation is able to get together.

Anyway, so this past Monday morn, I was getting ready for work in the morn, & I was thinking of what a pain this whole having FL around is. And I came up w/ the GREATEST IDEA EVER! Well, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it’s def up there as one of my best ideas.

You know how ppl are always talking about how CA’s gonna fall off into the Pacific? Well, ppl have mentioned it before.

So, I was thinking about how CA gets a bad rap sometimes b/c of the air-heads/ditzes in LA. But it’s really not bad. I enjoy San Fran, the food, the shopping, the strolling, the weather, the food. And LA’s fun too, you get to go there & act all pretentious & uppity. So FUN! And the Roosevelt Hotel’s fun to stay at, & the the Getty museum‘s fun to visit. So, I was thinking how I like CA & about the San Andreas Fault & everything. And that’s when I came up w/ the GREAT IDEA!

What if there was some way to get FL to fall off into the ocean instead?

No, wait… hear me out on this one.

FL sucks, remember? We just discussed a couple of the ways in which it sucks; & I didn’t even mention jellyfish once. Oh, & the ppl there are old, so it’s just a matter of time before they’ll be gone anyway.

So, anyway, I’ve decided to come up w/ my own fake scientific proof on a major benefit to back my “let’s saw off FL” cause. Here’s a pic that NASA had put out during Hurricane Katrina (8/29/2005):NOW- by my own theories (w/ no scientific training whatsoever)*, I’ve come up w/ a modified version of this same pic:Do you see how w/out FL to contain the storm, it could very easily branch out into the Atlantic & dissipate? Ah HA! We wouldn’t have had all the destruction, we would still be living w/ a false sense of security that FEMA had our backs, & we wouldn’t have to live w/ the knowledge that “George Bush doesn’t care about Black ppl”.

The only possible dilemma I see, if we saw off FL, is the bug infestation. See, I’ve thought this out completely. Now, this is just a possibility, ppl. No need to get your panties in a bunch until we know for sure what’ll happen w/ all the Floridian bugs. We all know that there’s nothing but bugs, insects, locusts, blech all over FL. If we saw the state off, then there’s a few possibilities:
– they may just go off into the ocean.
– they may relocate to Cuba. We’re still at odds w/ the Castro regime, right?**
– OR- they may just die off since they used to live off of the FL environment, & it no longer exists.

*dude, I know what you’re thinking… If I can come up w/ these great plans w/ no scientific knowledge/training whatsoever, imagine if I actually knew anything about science at all! I’d totally be more genius-er than I am now!!

**seriously, I’m going to do a post tomorrow (I think) going into this a little. Bush can just be so ridiculous sometimes.

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5 thoughts on “the sunshine state?

  1. Your scientific proof is very convincing. I have just one request: Can you please move Walt Disney World to a new location (one that will not be obliterated from the map!)? Thanks. 🙂

  2. Sure thing, just let me know where you want it moved to. Keep in mind that we don’t want it too close to the West coast, b/c they have a Disney-place there too. And they have one in the HK. Maybe Brazil? No, Peru. Yeah, Peru.

    Your thoughts?

  3. Not Peru! No place we need a passport to travel to.

    What about Texas or even maybe Georgia?

    Tricky business, moving an empire like WDW.

  4. I thought about TX 1st, but then thought it might be too close to the West coast, & we’d wanna keep it East.

    & Atlanta is like #1 in road rage, so I don’t know about that. Plus, they call it HOTlanta for a reason, it gets all hot & humid there.

    ~sigh~

    looks like we’ll need to form a committee.

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