porker

hahaha. Oh my, I just read one of the funniest stories I’ve seen in a while. Seriously, go read it, it’s here. It’ll literally take about 4 minutes to read.

Didja read it? I can’t believe this guy OR this girl. First, no one dumps someone they’ve been dating for 10 months because they’ve put on a couple of pounds. Here’s the line from the article:

The weight gain, which Kristoff estimated to be between three and five pounds, transformed the young woman into “kind of a porker,” according to Kristoff.

Three to five pounds! Are you kiddin me?!? Five pounds does not a porker make. Na-uh.

This Michael Kristoff character needs help. This is complete displacement. First, he was probably headin towards breaking up w/ her anyway. This is just his excuse. Sad one at that.

And she accepted his break-up over an email! No! She needs to get to where he is, & explain to him that she does not need someone like that in her life anyway. This story is so ridiculous.

I have a friend who could’ve inhaled a 2 pound box of Malley’s* (& has on occasion), & I haven’t stopped being friends w/ her b/c of it. Oh, & this Kristoff guy better not ever give any girl those Trader Joe’s truffles. That’s just a divorce waitin to happen.

Aaaahh, Trader Joe’s truffles. I’m going into a trance-like state just thinking about them now. I think they are the best thing about the holiday season. Oh, & the time off work to enjoy them.

*Malley’s is a local chocolatier
**alt title of post: I heart chocolate.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “porker

  1. yes, I know this is a fake story. I just thought it was very entertaining; & it’s way funnier if you read it like it was legit.

  2. You can play dot to dot with the zits on his face and he left her??

    What? Not a true story…what a relief. I believed it. I think people CAN be that shallow.

Comment / Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s